So much has happened. I have been working so hard for the past six weeks to eat healthy and work out. I want to loose weight. twenty five ponds. As much as either one of my girls. I feel sort of hopeless the last two weeks have been so bad. Sick kids, all or nothing attitude. little gym time and a giant bag of m&ms. Giant. But this is a new week. I will be strong. I will journal my food, my thoughts, my emotions. I will BE HAPPY!!! ENJOY THE JOURNEY. STOP WORRING. FORGIVE MY SELF AND STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT RATHER, STOP BEING DISAPOINTED THAT I AM NOT.

Therapist Topics:

Mother daughter dynamic. Why I blame her for all my problems. Why she calls me up to tell my she thinks my facebook status is selfish. Why I lash back.

How to be happy

Enjoying the journey. not sweating the small stuff.

Embracing my trials and creating a happy flow.

Goals for the week

Read my scriptures everyday

Work out everyday

Laundry folded and put away everyday

make healthy food everyday

Food Journal every meal

Positive thinking

Sew one thing

Organize one space

Vacuum daily

Monday

1/2 cup oatmeal

1/4 cup kix

1 tbs brown sugar

150 calories of marshmallows

Protien shake

veggie pattie 1/2 english muffin

1 tbs bbq sauce

1 tsp mayo

two corn tortillas

1 cooked veggies

1tsp oil

1/3 cup cheese

1/2 cup cooked chicken

2 tbs hummus

1 baby carrot

1 tsp peanut butter

1 mini pepper

1/4 cliff bar

yoga

today was a good day.

I am happy for Jessica and her results. Just because she did better then me doesn't mean I failed. I can be happy for her and work harder for me. This is hard. I feel embarressed like I want to to quit and eat a bunch of crap.

I CAN DO THIS!!!

I AM BETTER THEN THIS!!!!!

I CAN BE HAPPY WITH WHO I AM NOW!