yesterday

1/2 cup oatmeal fresh strawberries

slice (lg) of maghaita pizza from pegasus

small salad with pears and walnuts

three pieces of bread with cheese

large smoothie berries, yogurt spianch vitamines

handful of m&ms

1/4 chocolate cupcake

humus with veggies

today

oatmeal berries

humus cup of carrots

diet coke

hand full m&ms

shows

parenthood

charlie sheen on 60minutes

clip of tom hanks

1:35pm

So much has happened. I have been working so hard for the past six weeks to eat healthy and work out. I want to loose weight. twenty five ponds. As much as either one of my girls. I feel sort of hopeless the last two weeks have been so bad. Sick kids, all or nothing attitude. little gym time and a giant bag of m&ms. Giant. But this is a new week. I will be strong. I will journal my food, my thoughts, my emotions. I will BE HAPPY!!! ENJOY THE JOURNEY. STOP WORRING. FORGIVE MY SELF AND STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT RATHER, STOP BEING DISAPOINTED THAT I AM NOT.

Therapist Topics:

Mother daughter dynamic. Why I blame her for all my problems. Why she calls me up to tell my she thinks my facebook status is selfish. Why I lash back.

How to be happy

Enjoying the journey. not sweating the small stuff.

Embracing my trials and creating a happy flow.

Goals for the week

Read my scriptures everyday

Work out everyday

Laundry folded and put away everyday

make healthy food everyday

Food Journal every meal

Positive thinking

Sew one thing

Organize one space

Vacuum daily

Monday

1/2 cup oatmeal

1/4 cup kix

1 tbs brown sugar

150 calories of marshmallows

Protien shake

veggie pattie 1/2 english muffin

1 tbs bbq sauce

1 tsp mayo

two corn tortillas

1 cooked veggies

1tsp oil

1/3 cup cheese

1/2 cup cooked chicken

2 tbs hummus

1 baby carrot

1 tsp peanut butter

1 mini pepper

1/4 cliff bar

yoga

today was a good day.

I am happy for Jessica and her results. Just because she did better then me doesn't mean I failed. I can be happy for her and work harder for me. This is hard. I feel embarressed like I want to to quit and eat a bunch of crap.

I CAN DO THIS!!!

I AM BETTER THEN THIS!!!!!

I CAN BE HAPPY WITH WHO I AM NOW!

arg...

it is so hard to say motivated and so easy to be distracted. I will be better. i will be stronger!

I will put the laundry away!

Bury the Talent No More

It's late and I am going to go to bed soon.

I feel that I constantly come in second in my own race. Like I trip at the finish line and feel sad and unworthy unnecessarily. The truth I have been blessed with thousands of wonderful things daily and I have yet to take advantage of them and show gratitude.

I feel like the farmer who hid his talent in the sand instead of using it to become a better person.

No More

I am writing this for me.

So be prepared for run-on sentences and questionable punctuation.

I am ready to start being the woman I was destined to be.

The Wife, the Mother, the Daughter of God who is happy with who she is inside and out.

My patriarchal blessing specifically mentions exercise and now it is time for me to start to fully embrace it.

BUT

It is about more than just exercising my body, it is about exercising my spirit and my mind as well.

The Plan

sort of... I am just sort of making this up as a go along.

Daily scripture reading 20minutes

exercise 5 hours a week

1 book a month

Deserts on Weekends and in moderation

No Fast Food. Split Meals in Restaurants and Drink lots and lots of Water

Take a daily vitamin

SLEEP 8 hours a day!

Enjoy it, Push through the pain and be Happy

Above all Be Happy, Kind and Grateful

Wish me Luck!